Wrecking Up Our Lives, Guys

Let's be honest here, dudes. We're absolutely screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We drink too much. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're clueless.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and just accepted get more info our fate?

“Two. Designed for Your Pleasure"

You guys have about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of nonsense that gets your blood pumping. No space for weaklings here, only those who crave it all. We're talking about getting dirty and feeling every fiber of the ride.

• Ignore that boring stuff you’ve been doing.
• This where the real pleasure is.
• Feel what you deserve: a wild, unforgettable trip.

We're not asking. We’re just saying you the reality.

dudes: Bro Get down with me Me Right Now

Look, I'm not Faking it. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Satisfaction. Don't Waste around with Small talk, just Get in there already. I'm Ready and waiting for you to Show me what you got.

Man up, I know you want to.

Dude! This Bunch of Dudes {Want to Fuck Me|Have It Out With Me Sexually

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Get the Message. I've been trying to Be Firm, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Don't Care . It's getting {ReallyAnnoying.

• Maybe I Should Talk to My Landlord About This.
• Dude, Please| This is getting Out of Hand.

I'm Telling You, I just want to Go About My Day in Safety! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's crank Fucking Wild

Tonight, we're gonna make it rain. I'm talking about a party for the ages. We gotta get wasted and let loose. I've got {a playlist on fire|some banging tunes that will have you sweating.

We're hitting the dance floor all night long. So, are you ready to get down??

Let's make this a night to remember.

Fuck It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Liquor is the answer to all problems.
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.